Hi friends! Has it really been a month? I was on such a roll for awhile but lately I’ve been working more (yay for money!) and we were traveling last week (yay for travel and also YAY for coming home). Here’s what’s going on.
Making: plans for our NEXT trip out east, even though we just got back from a weeklong trip. Advice to people with babies: FLY EARLY AND OFTEN, and then when your children become toddlers just never leave your city. Got it?
Cooking: I made dinner two nights in a row this week so where is my gold medal? Two nights ago was homemade chicken Caesar salad and last night was sausage and peppers in the crockpot (with mushrooms and tomatoes on the side). I’m actively trying to eat more veggies and protein at every meal. I also bought some little eggplants and am thinking of making this.
Drinking: my latte with zero sugar/Splenda in the morning. It’s actually still quite delicious! Also, I’m thinking about making some sangria for a girls night tonight because….sangria + girls night = perfection.
Reading: The Underground Girls of Kabul. It’s about girls who are raised as boys in Afghanistan and it’s well-written, amazingly researched, and more complicated than you’d think. If you like books about gender, foreign culture, or just longform non-fiction, I highly recommend it! I liked it so much I kept it for two days past the library due date AND stayed up until 1am to finish it.
Wanting: a whole day to lay on the couch and watch 12 hours of shows on my DVR, without kids
Looking: forward to date night this weekend — dinner and Gone Girl!
Playing: with trains, cars, tricycles, balls, and more! Also playing outside a ton while the weather is still nice.
Wishing: that Holden did not have a cold. His leaky sick face is just tragic.
Enjoying: the lovely weather we are having this week. Warm with a tidge of fall in the air.
Waiting: for the election to be over so I can have my husband back.
Wondering: if I should cut a few more inches off my hair. (like this length?)
Loving: I mentioned this on twitter, but I got two Chatbooks subscriptions. One is for me to have my Instragrams nicely printed and bound. The other is for the boys to look through pictures of themselves and they LOVE it! They love finding family members and pointing out bottles and pacifiers (weirdos). Highly recommend!
Hoping: that the kids will enjoy Halloween this year. I’m planning to dress them up as panda bears if they’ll let me!
Marveling: at how kids learn to talk. It’s like I’m getting a lesson in slo-mo.
Needing: someone to tell me it’s fine to skip a birthday party for the kids. I feel like I should do it, and it would be fun, but it would also be some amount of work and it turns out I am lazy.
Wearing: yoga pants and Andrew’s sweatshirt. Sexxxxxxay.
Following: I kept reading about the Serial podcast on twitter so I’m jumping on the bandwagon and following along (still on ep. 1).
Noticing: My neighborhood goes Halloween crazy. Maybe I need to get some decorations so we fit in?
Knowing: that I NEED to make myself a couple of doctor appointments yet I just haven’t done it. I also need to give the boys haircuts because they are totally shaggy.
Feeling: Sad for my friends who are trying to get pregnant and having a hard time. It seems like there are a lot of you out there right now. Sending lots of hugs your way.
Bookmarking: some ideas for pumpkin carving/decorating. I’m thinking about making a chalkboard pumpkin and then maybe painting another pumpkin something metallic and drilling polka dot holes into it. (The boys LOVE using the drill.)
Opening: my ballot and voting! It’s super awesome that in Colorado our ballots get automatically mailed to us. No need to register absentee or go in person.
Giggling: at how the twins still call Holden “Hobo” (both of them, all day long).
Thanks for the blog post idea, Jen!
I got my new fall/winter boots in the mail! I admit I’ve been shopping more than usual lately. I need to get some winter clothes for me, winter clothes for the boys, and fancy clothes for two upcoming weddings. I found these boots at Kohl’s and I’m really happy with them! What do you think? (Aside from the fact that they totally match my floors. I seriously need to hang a full length mirror somewhere in my house so I can take a legit photo.)
I put on a dress and makeup and did my hair, left the kiddos with my parents for the evening, and went to a gala dinner for an ovarian cancer organization. I honestly didn’t know much about ovarian cancer before tonight, but I was very touched by the speakers at the event and got emotional a couple of times. The keynote speaker was 33 when she was diagnosed with Stage 3 cancer. That’s my age!
Did you know that ovarian cancer is not something that’s screened for at your annual gyn exam?! Really the best/only way to be diagnosed early is to pay attention to any weirdness going on. 95% of women diagnosed with ovarian cancer had 1 or more of these four common symptoms:
- Pelvic or abdominal pain
- Urinary urgency or frequency
- Difficulty eating or feeling full quickly
Those symptoms seem so…mundane. It worries me that there is no other screening/testing for something that is not uncommon. Sorry to get all serious about a really crappy disease, but if prevention and knowledge is the only thing that might lead to an early stage diagnosis, I wanted to share what I learned. (You can learn lots more here.) Thank you to my friend K for taking me tonight!
is a busy day. In the morning we are starting the process for speech therapy for Holden. To be honest, I am really not worried about the little guy, but we took him in for a (free) evaluation and he was about 5-6 months behind in expressive language, so he qualified for (free) speech therapy IN OUR HOUSE. So I can literally be in my yoga pants and they will come to my house and help me with my kid, for FREE? We said yes. (And I know it’s not really free, because this is what taxes pay for, but I’m happy that these resources exist.)
In the afternoon/evening, I am helping my mom photograph a wedding, or as it’s called in the business, “being a second shooter.” This is my second time being a second shooter, and I’m excited and nervous! I don’t really have any desire to be a wedding photographer, but I like weddings, and I like taking pictures, and it’s a fun and different experience from my normal day.
This is my fave photo that I took from the first wedding I did. It kind of helped that the bride was basically a supermodel.
What are you lovelies up to today, tomorrow, or yesterday?
I’m totally happy being a boy mom.
I grew up with one sister, so I imagined myself having little girls. I understand sister dynamics, and it just seemed normal to me. When we found out the twins were boys, I struggled for a few weeks knowing I’d never have a daughter. It was easier with Miller because I knew there was a chance for a daughter with our second kid, but with the twins, that was it.
Now that my boys are here, of course, I can’t imagine it any other way and I feel so happy to be a boy mom. I feel somewhat relieved to not have to deal with princess stuff and the pinkification of everything for girls. I am relieved to not have to navigate a daughter through middle school and mean girls. The only thing I feel a bit sad about is not being able to do fun hairdos with a daughter. And I worry a little bit about when the boys are adults, if we will have a close relationship or if that’s harder for mothers and sons (and potential grandkids). I’m so happy for my boys that they have each other and I’m eager to witness a lifelong brother relationship.
I’m happy to have two kids.
I am one of those crazy people who loves babies. I am at my happiest buried under a pile of babies. I get sad about every month of babyhood ending, and I honestly am really sad I will never have another snuggly four-month-old. I’m pretty sure I cried when the twins were 3 weeks old because I’d never have another 3 week old. If, by some chance, another baby fell from the sky into my lap (and it slept through the night) then I’d probably be pretty happy. But our babymaking days are over, and I’m okay with that. I have ZERO desire to go through fertility treatments or be pregnant again. I would love to have a chance to actually succeed at breastfeeding, but I don’t want it badly enough to try again (and I ESPECIALLY don’t ever want to use a pump again). I hope that we will be able to give our two kids the love, attention, and resources (hello, college tuition) that they need without stretching ourselves thin.
(As I’m re-reading this, I hope none of it comes across as the right way to feel about things. This is just what I feel about me and my own preferences and limitations. If you have a family with 6 daughters I’d love to come over and French braid all of their hair while talking about the Little Mermaid (not kidding!)).
This parenting gig is RELENTLESS.
Being a mom, and a stay-at-home mom for the time being, is my dream job. And this is not news to anyone who is a parent, but it’s really, really hard. It’s hard in a way that I couldn’t have really understood pre-parenthood. I used to spend A LOT of time being lazy, napping, exercising (okay maybe not a LOT but I could have), talking on the phone in peace, running errands in peace, going to happy hour, etc. Now if I want to do any of those things, I have to plan in advance for either Andrew or my mom or my babysitter to watch the kids. My ability to do anything spontaneously is near zero. I’m not really complaining because I know this is all temporary, it’s just something where the neverendingness of it surprised me. Also, the neverending cleaning, feeding, cleaning, feeding, and cleaning. That is probably harder for me to deal with than the lack of freedom.
I care approximately 0% how my kids were born.
I remember way back in the day watching the Ricki Lake documentary on birth and being like, “I’m going to have a natural birth!” and then the joke was on me because I had surgery that necessitated that all future children would be born by C-Section. So when I finally got pregnant, there was no debate. No birthing class, no birth plan, nothing. I can totally see why a C-Section would be a less than optimal experience for someone who didn’t want one or didn’t plan to have one. But because I essentially always knew I’d have one, there was no mental turmoil over it. I wouldn’t say my twin birth experience was very good, but it was fine and it resulted in two healthy, living babies. So I’ve never really given it much more thought than that.
I thought it would be easier to be tough.
The best example I can think of for this is that my kids have had separation anxiety for a full year now. And instead of attempting to deal with it in some way other than figure they will grow out of it eventually, I just don’t leave them very often. Sigh. And when I do leave them, it’s with a family member or one trusted babysitter. And I rarely have anyone else put them down for naps/bedtime because they just don’t deal well with it. I never take them to the gym child care, even though I could, because the one time I took them they cried hard for 30 minutes. Pre-parent Janet would have been like, “Toughen up, everyone! The children will be FINE. Drop the children off and go run on the damn treadmill!” But mom-Janet is a huge weenie who doesn’t want to think about her kids crying for 30 minutes with a stranger. The more I talk to other moms, the more I realize that things like daycare dropoff sadness or separation anxiety are totally normal and common, it just wasn’t something I was very prepared for.
I’m curious what has surprised YOU about being a mom or a dad? Please do share!