July 20, 2006 · filed under family, wedding

my mother the MILF

We’ve all seen some bad Mother of the Bride dresses in our time. You know the ones I’m talking about. They’re shapeless, frumpy, and overly sequined. At their worst, they make the groom freak out that his bride may one day turn into her mother.

Well, I was determined not to let my mother look like this. Not that such a thing was ever really an option because my mom is pretty cute, but I’ll be honest and admit that I have threatened to nominate her for What Not to Wear on an occasion or two (or four). (Tapered jeans = bad. Just ask Oprah.)

When my mom found a dress the other day she thought was good for the wedding, she took a photo and sent it to me:

I admit, it isn’t bad. It not super droopy, sequined, or adorned with a floppy jacket. But the all-over floral pattern doesn’t exactly scream hottie either. So I convinced my mom to check out the Nordstrom Anniversary Sale just to see if there was anything cute. It couldn’t hurt to try. Well, let’s just all thank goodness that she brought her best friend and—here is the KEY—her best friend’s adorable and stylish 22 year old daughter with her. Within an hour, my mom bought this dress instead:

Isn’t my mom going to look HOTT in this dress! I was so proud of her. It has shape! and ruching! and sparkliness! and it’s so modern! I immediately sent a proud email to my sister.

From: Me
To: Sister
CC: Mom
Subject: Mom is going to be a MILF at my wedding

Sis, check out mom’s awesome dress!

Awhile later, this was in my inbox:

From: Mom
To: Me
Subject: Re: Mom is going to be a MILF at my wedding

Seriously, Dad and I feel like idiots, but what is MILF?

I didn’t have the heart to tell her myself. I thought everyone knew what a MILF was! Especially my mother, who taught high school for 30 years. Surely this word was used regularly among high school boys? Someone today even told me they had heard the term GILF lately (Grandma I’d like to…)!

And thus, my sister had to tell my mom what I meant. My dad was grossed out, but I think it secretly made my mom pretty happy.


21 Comments

  1. Mom
    July 20, 2006 10:52 pm

    Okay, now I am officially mortified. I don’t want to be a frump OR a MILF. How about I am just not going to be an embarrassment to my daugher at her wedding!!

  2. Durga
    July 21, 2006 12:19 am

    hahaha that’s so funny. I couldn’t tell my mum what it means either and I don’t think she knows.
    But yeah the dress is smokin! OMG soooo HOT.
    But a little too hot for my mum I think. I’m so conservative that way….I hate for my mums boobs to be on show u know…to my friends etc…in case it pops out or something. Ahhh!!!

    Other than that….so cute!

  3. Sarah
    July 21, 2006 6:52 am

    I just taught my dad what MILF means a couple weeks ago. Now, when we’re out and he sees a younger mom with a child he says, usually too loudly, “Sarah, is that a MILF?” Gotta love parents.

  4. Sarah
    July 21, 2006 6:53 am

    Oh! I forgot to say that the dress is soooo nice. Your mom made a great choice!

  5. Erika
    July 21, 2006 7:59 am

    Oh Janet’s mom…you are going to be so happy with your choice. You get just as much outfit-attention as the bride and the dress you chose SO fits the occasion. It is beautiful. We are all proud of you.

    My husband said MILF in front of my mother-in-law and then had to explain it. IT WAS HUMILIATING.

  6. Liberal Banana
    July 21, 2006 9:34 am

    That new dress is SWEET! I WANT TO WEAR IT! HOTTT!

    I almost threw up a little when I read GILF. Seriously.

  7. Alexa
    July 21, 2006 10:35 am

    That dress is oh so lovely. I am picturing the mother-daughter photos now. Are you going to consult your mother-in-law too?

  8. Alison
    July 21, 2006 10:40 am

    Yay Janets Mom! That’s actually the exact same dress the my Step-Mother-In-Law wore to my Sister-In-Law’s wedding in June! It was very cute! If she wanted to make it a little less MILF she could always get a cute little shrug to wear over her shoulders.

  9. Cindy
    July 21, 2006 1:05 pm

    Love the MILF dress!!

  10. Jennifer
    July 21, 2006 3:09 pm

    Who would have thought American Pie would have such an influence on us?? I sure wouldn’t want to explain MILF to MY mother!

    Excellent job with the dress change. The first one was fine, but the new one is AWESOME.

  11. Laurie
    July 21, 2006 3:23 pm

    Love it! So fitting to the occasion and also the venue – Mexico! Awesome choice and I kind of want one like it…:) Can’t wait for the pics!

  12. Morgan
    July 21, 2006 5:29 pm

    Wow, I am impressed!!! I LOVE the dress and would definitely wear it myself. I can’t say I’ve ever said that about a mother of the bride dress before.

    Love your blog and reading about your upcoming wedding!!!

  13. haggalicious
    July 21, 2006 7:13 pm

    LOVE THE DRESS!!! She’ll be a knock out!

  14. Nic
    July 21, 2006 8:59 pm

    LOVE the new dress. Way to go mom! She’s going to look awesome.

  15. john of ne
    July 21, 2006 11:05 pm

    Man, don’t talk about your mom that way. Bad!

  16. Isabel
    July 22, 2006 4:08 pm

    Too funny! (and how did you do that awesome quotes thing on the post?) I love that dress. I can’t wait to see how HOTT your Mom looks in it.

  17. Isabel
    July 22, 2006 4:09 pm

    And also, how did you get your picture on your sidebar?

    (I need to send you a box of cookies to thank you for all your blog help. Seriously!!)

  18. Lindsey
    July 23, 2006 11:01 am

    I LOVE your mom’s dress. I call my mom a MILF, my mom is cool like that, it’s funny.

  19. rachel
    July 23, 2006 1:27 pm

    I love that dress! I want it myself!

  20. bonnie c
    December 12, 2006 4:35 am

    janet!!! congrats! i am so excited for you! and, i must admit, am pretty excited that i made the blog….. miss you! xoxo

  21. Marmite Breath
    January 12, 2007 1:12 am

    OMG! We just had that whole discussion over at my blog! Well, I mean, we had it on the phone, but I documented it on my blog.

    I love that dress, btw. Very cute!