November 22, 2006 · filed under blonde moments, food

12
comments

I’ll need liposuction for my anniversary

Some of you may recall my pre-wedding dieting woes, which threatened to drive me off a cliff once or twice but ultimately paid off enough that I didn’t look like a whale on my wedding day. I didn’t look like a waif either, but The Skinny is just not in my genes. To lose 15 or so pounds before the wedding I started running at 6am boot camp sessions and ate “meals” consisting of fruit and/or cottage cheese and/or air. I never truly tortured myself, which is probably why I didn’t lose 30 pounds instead of 15, but I retained my sanity (for the most part). It was a good tradeoff.

When I went to Mexico for nine days and ate as many chips (w/ guacamole) and drank as many margaritas as my body would allow, I was pretty sure I’d gain five or seven pounds minimum. I wore stretchy material all week (swimsuits and cotton shorts) so I had no idea if my work pants would even button when I got home. I tried to get bronzed enough to hide the bloated body I was sure to earn on my Honeymoon of Eating Cookies in Bed Every Morning.

So you can imagine I was thrilled to hop on the scale on Saturday night and see that I had only gained ONE POUND in Mexico. I actually stepped on and off the scale two more times, just to make sure all that tequila hadn’t clouded my vision.

While this was good news at the time, it has really only fueled my desire to keep eating everything in sight. The first week I got away with it, but I can already tell that week two is catching up with me. Did I mention I haven’t worked out in two weeks either, unless you count the uhhhh, ummmmm, Horizontal Mambo, which I should totally be allowed to discuss because it was my HONEYMOON.

Here are the things I have eaten since setting foot on American soil about 72 hours ago:

  • Wendy’s Spicy Chicken Sandwich and fries and some frosty
  • Choki’s (Mexican Chips Ahoy I smuggled home with me)
  • Cheez-its
  • pepperoni pizza
  • egg and cheese bagel
  • a tablefull of turkish tapas, including cheese fried in pastry dough
  • chocolate chips dipped in peanut butter
  • half a gallon of ice cream (I can’t believe I just admitted that)
  • 4/5ths of a box of Kraft Mac n Cheese
  • Ritz con queso (another smuggled good)

I’m just going to stop there because HOLY HELL that list is insane. I didn’t eat that much crap in the six months leading up to the wedding combined! And it’s not even Thanksgiving yet, people. I am totally screwed.

12 Comments

  1. Lauren
    November 22, 2006 2:30 am

    But seriously, sometimes junk food is the only answer.

    Are you hosting Thanksgiving as a married couple this year or celebrating elsewhere? That could be a lot of excitement for one month.

    I’m so glad you are back!

  2. alyndabear
    November 22, 2006 2:30 am

    Well dear, it’s not as though you head off to Mexico to chow down on that kind of food every day now, right?

    You’ll settle back into your routines again.

    And for the record? You looked just perfect at your wedding, as you do now, and I’m proud of you. :)

  3. RA
    November 22, 2006 10:20 am

    Wow, way to be with the one pound! I’ve fallen into a junk food torpor as well… I think it’s part of the holiday spirit known as resignation. At least Thanksgiving has protein and, uh, veggies like pumpkin pie, right?

  4. Laurel
    November 22, 2006 12:33 pm

    Honestly, it’s the holidays. You’re doing well if you don’t eat an entire package of white chocolate-covered Oreos.

    Oh man, now I totally want some white-chocolate covered Oreos.

  5. amieable
    November 22, 2006 3:58 pm

    I think it was smart to lose the weight before the wedding in a SMART way (ie. no cabbage diets or anything) becuase I think otherwise you might have rebounded.

    So proud that you only gained one pound! See? You really are in good shape.

    I have fallen the same way. Your wedding was a benchmark for me and I was working hard to look good. Now that it’s over, I haven’t been to the gym and I’ve been eating my weight in Baby Ruths and Cheez-its (I ate a whole box yesterday).

    And now we have the holidays! Boo

  6. jen
    November 22, 2006 10:57 pm

    I think cheez-its might be the universal diet-killer, because they’ve been tempting me (and winning out over my will) every single day.

    You deserve a good long break from the dieting, you did so well losing weight for the wedding… now you can gain some back and you’ll still be down 10+ lbs!

    And the horizontal mambo totally counts as exercise.

  7. Sarah
    November 23, 2006 8:59 am

    Being a wife is a slippery slope. The happier you are, the more you eat. It’s a constant battle…welcome to it!

  8. Lindsey
    November 23, 2006 11:41 am

    Yeah I learned from “Sarah Says” who learned from her mom, that when you eat a lot on your honeymoon you shouldn’t worry because happiness weighs more. I’m not saying gain 200 pounds and be jolly, but don’t stress over it. Just enjoy the holiday and then get back into running…you did seem like you were enjoying the running, right? If you did, you should do it because of the energy it gives you or stress relief or whatever…and less for the weight loss factor! Ok, i’m done with my lecture. I am loving your wedding pics and I’m ready for more. Happy Thanksgiving!

  9. Alexa
    November 23, 2006 11:25 pm

    Can we place bets on how much weight Andrew has gained by Monday? I am guessing 10 lbs with his stuffing addiction.

    Janet- you are gorgeous and there is a reason we have New Year’s Resolutions.

  10. Zandria
    November 24, 2006 6:01 pm

    Sometimes feeling deprived can have that affect on you once you allow yourself to “cheat” again. But yeah, like people have already said, everyone is allowed to have those times. You just have to get back on track at some point and eat a little bit of the “bad” stuff along with a lot of the “good” so that you don’t go crazy.

  11. CrankMama
    November 25, 2006 3:25 pm

    Ah yes.. the joys of holiday eating (really an excuse to mound up on junkfood)… Sounds like you’ll have to do more, um, dancing, to keep yourself in wedding shape.

    YOu are adorable, btw.

  12. elise
    November 25, 2006 9:42 pm

    I loved that list. Seriously. Loved it.