July 26, 2007 · filed under miscellany
let the pity party begin!
I do believe that BlogHer started at 8:30 this morning so I would like to declare our Pity Party officially commenced! Grab a drink, ladies! Wait, lemme dig around for my little graphic.
Ahh, yes, there it is. I’ve been combing through your millions of entries (and by millions, I mean like ten) trying to decide who has the most pathetic reason for not going to BlogHer.
Jen had a pretty good reason to stay home. She has an infant daughter and a small business to take care of.
Aimee mentioned something in her entry I hadn’t though of — cicadas! Washington, DC had them three years ago and Chicago has ‘em this year and suddenly I am SO FREAKING GLAD I will not be facing those giant, oozing, flying insects this summer. Aimee will be heading off to Chicago next year instead to what sounds like my own personal hell on earth:
a drag racing event! For THREE DAYS. THREE DAYS IN JUNE, IN THE SUN. With cars. And engine smokey stuff that makes me choke.
Our favorite Aussie Alynda has a pretty practical reason for not attending, considering the 9,256 miles that lie between Sydney and Chicago. (PS. who votes that we have BlogHer in Sydney next year? I am so there.) But we can still feel pity for her nonetheless because her boyf is about to move to London and leave her all alone to drink wine with her pets.
I’ll be too busy trying to occupy myself having just become ‘suddenly single’, with my companions most likely being furry in appearance. They may not drink wine, but they sure are great listeners.
Janet is making the transition from gainfully employed teacher to broke law student:
When you decide to go to law school, it’s all kind of exciting–sure, there is the LSAT and the application process, neither of which are a total joy–but then, when you actually have to, like, GO to law school, it’s kind of a big pain in the ass.
For example, you have to quit your job. They will not let you work as a 1L. So, now I am unemployed, flat broke, and eating ramen for breakfast.
(The ramen is a lie. I am having an iced caramel latte. But I made it MYSELF rather than going to Starbucks. This is pitiful in itself.)
Also, you’ll have to move. Pack boxes, lift heavy furniture, rent a U-Haul. Unfortunately for us, our apartment will not be ready until 37 days after we move out of our current place. Which means that we will live 13 days with my mother and 24 days in a hotel. A hotel, you say? That sounds fun! Not exactly. We are staying in a Howard Johnson motel. For $2300.
Furthermore, I already have a textbook–The United States Legal System–which I need to read before I show up for classes. I have a huge stack of fun summer reading, which I will not be getting to due to this textbook that I must read and outline.
This weekend, I will pay $12,774.40 for my first semester, pack some more boxes, and read some chapters in the textbook.
Also, I need to figure out how to get rid of an old refrigerator.
And the lovely Elise, who has made me promise to attend BlogHer with her next year (in Sydney? Paris? Bali?), wrote a delightful little limerick.
There once was a girl you’ll all pity
She sat, reading blogs with her kitty.
And then came her chance -
It was the big Blogging Dance!
But her fear trumped her trip to the city.
Goodness, I am feeling downright drunk with all this misery! I’m gonna need some serious painkillers to get to work tomorrow (nevermind that I need those every day). Make sure to check back in tomorrow to read the next installment of stories (aka the semi-finalists) and find out who wins!
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Lindsey
July 26, 2007 4:44 pm
This is seriously the most fabulous pity party I have ever attended. I’m so full of self-pity and pity for others that I can barely stand the sheer pity.
Janet’s reason for not going to BlogHer made me feel exhausted after reading it. Goodness! Totally pitiful.
Operation Pink Herring
July 26, 2007 4:53 pm
From time to time I consider going to law school. Then I slap myself, turn on the TV and watch a few Law and Order reruns instead. Janet’s entry made me want to cry. Ugh, moving, being broke and needing to study… I can hardly believe that she didn’t win the contest. I feel for you!
Operation Pink Herring
July 26, 2007 4:54 pm
And also, dude — this is so much fun. Let’s have a pity party every year!
Audrey
July 26, 2007 4:57 pm
Reading Janet’s reason made me think I could have submitted something about Tim going to grad school and making us poor, but then I read more and realized that Janet would have easily trumped my little grad-school pity-party!
So glad you’re having this pity-party, though! Misery, as they say, loves company.
janet
July 26, 2007 5:08 pm
Janet’s entry is definitely great and made even more spectacular by her fabulous writing.
It was hard to pick a winner! I’m not even 100% sure my mind is made up! Let’s just all have a group hug and declare everyone winners… No, no, someone has to get the purse!
Chiada
July 26, 2007 5:20 pm
Oooo! I love the poem! That is very cute. And, that post by Janet the law student reeeeally is pitiful. I can totally relate to her because I have been doing the whole school thing, too, and it feels never-ending sometimes.
Laural Dawn
July 26, 2007 5:53 pm
You know what? I didn’t send an entry because as much as it would be cool to go, I’m not feeling that bummed about it … cause I’m going on vacation starting tomorrow. And, the trade-off to be with my toddler will be worth it every minute he is not throwing a temper tantrum, asking me why or getting in some sort of trouble.
And at that point I’m sure I’ll be having a pity party and wishing I was drinking with the ladies at BlogHer.
You may get a desperate pity party e-mail at some point next week!!!
E :)
July 26, 2007 6:35 pm
Don’t play favourites amongst your Australians… (Slinks away sadly…)
elise
July 26, 2007 7:19 pm
My limerick would have been so much better if I would have left out the first “her” in the last part. “But fear trumped her trip to the city”.
See? It just…I don’t know. Flows. Or something. And Bali? If they have ANYTHING in Bali, and you want to go, count me IN. Actually, same goes for Sydney or Paris. That would be freaking awesome.
Moving Mama
July 26, 2007 9:24 pm
Here’s to you ladies – let’s all raise our collective drinks and have a virtual clinking of glasses in honor of those of us not going…. To the BlogHerNots. Wish I had found you sooner to submit an entry, but alas, I am always late to the party.
Erin
July 26, 2007 10:08 pm
OOO, I love a pity party! What fun!
(of course, I must confess that in my mental exhaustion, I thought, at first, that you were having a PITA party. I was a little excited to see what a pita party entailed…but pity is just as fun)
RA
July 26, 2007 10:15 pm
Ooh, love love love the limerick!
I didn’t enter this contest because of a really silly reason – I don’t wear brown. That’s not to say that I have zero brown in my wardrobe, but I already have a brown purse (Coach, actually, from my grandma, now that I think of it) that I never use because I almost always wear an outfit that will work with my slew of black purses. I think it’s just because I have the blackest of black hair and I think the black/brown thing looks weird. I’m not very fashion-adventurous. Maybe I can have a contest and give away a purse, too…
Also – my reasons for not going to BlogHer weren’t really pitiful, but I made for the right decision for me. I’m poor. And a wimp. Ah, well.
Marianne
July 26, 2007 11:17 pm
Damn it… I forgot to enter too. I’m IN CHICAGO, yet, I’m moving to a different apartment this weekend… no BlogHer for me.
But the limerick? Priceless!
alyndabear
July 26, 2007 11:34 pm
Oh E – You can be the favourite Brisbanite and I’ll be the Sydneysider. How’s that?
The pity is coming off us all in waves.. and we haven’t even seen them all yet. WOE IS US.
Janet
July 27, 2007 2:22 am
Misery DOES love company!
Did I mention…I am hosting an engagement party tomorrow so even though I have to be out of my apartment on Monday, my downstairs is still completely intact. Haha! This is a total joke. And not a funny one either.
But you know, three days of drag racing sounds exactly right–a total drag. Bleh.
I can’t wait for more pity partying tomorrow!
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angela
July 27, 2007 9:33 am
I can’t go because even though I’m a graphic designer, I’m too busy fighting crime. Crime never stops, you know.