September 18, 2007 · filed under blonde moments

19
comments

pimp my ride

Some people say, “When life hands you lemons, make lemonade.”

I say, “When life hands you a wrecked car and a cross-town move at the same time, make the insurance company your b*tch.”

And that is how I ended up as the driver of a big, white cargo van for the next week, at the expense of my lovely insurance company. I was going to call it my sniper van, but then I realized that might be a little insensitive. (Even though I really do look like a terrorist driving it.)

It’s a little weird to be driving such a mammoth vehicle, especially since I’ve been spooked about driving in general ever since the accident. I know I need to just get over it. I had a perfect driving record for ten whole years, so I tell myself the accident was a fluke that could happen to anyone. Yet I can’t stop driving like a half-blind, overly-cautious grandma* now.

who wants a ride?

Have I mentioned I am already the master of (illegally) parking this beast? Any suggestions for what else I could write on the side of my new wheels?

*No offense to grandmas! I love my grannies! Imitation is the highest form of flattery, right?

19 Comments

  1. E :)
    September 19, 2007 1:04 am

    That is ingenious. I am in awe of your manipulation of the insurance company for your moving needs. Usually it’s the other way around, with them sodomising their customers.

    Yay for you!

  2. maya
    September 19, 2007 1:22 am

    As a former employee of one (actually a whole bunch) of the big insurance companies, I salute you! Ps I was one of the good guys that talked people OUT of buying useless coverage LOL

  3. alyndabear
    September 19, 2007 2:43 am

    Ha, I’m sure you’re the coolest granny in town!

  4. Operation Pink Herring
    September 19, 2007 8:55 am

    You are my hero for turning the tables on the insurance company. Somehow I always end up their bitch. And I say “always” because I had a perfect driving record for all of 5 months when I was 17. (Why peeps always gotta be crashin into me?)

    There is nothing wrong with driving like a grandma. Safety first!

  5. RA
    September 19, 2007 9:11 am

    Very smooth ride for the move, indeed. But is Bruce going to be fixed up eventually? Seeing those pictures still makes me cringe.

    I think you should get a vanity plate at some point that’s like, “GRANJAN”. Or maybe that’s too many letters.

  6. Emily
    September 19, 2007 10:29 am

    That seriously made me laugh out loud. Youa are now officially the vehicle I refuse to park next to in a parking lot for fear of being abducted.

  7. Julie
    September 19, 2007 10:31 am

    Just the thought of my grandmother driving that van is priceless.

  8. Laurel
    September 19, 2007 11:52 am

    That thing is amazing looking! Driving it would terrify me.

    I think you need to make up a tag to be spray painted gigantically all over the side. You know, like the airbrushed t-shirts popular in the 80s.

  9. Nilsa S.
    September 19, 2007 12:08 pm

    If profiling really does take place (who are we kidding, we know it does), there’s no way you’d be pulled over for fear of being a sniper. More for fear of carrying a van full of helium balloons, clowns and puppy dogs! :)

  10. elysa
    September 19, 2007 12:59 pm

    I second Emily’s abduction comment. There is no way I’d be able to park that thing.

    On a sidenote – I wanted to tell you to check out the new twenty something blog ring I wrote about on my blog yesterday.

  11. katelin
    September 19, 2007 1:07 pm

    absolutely no wrong in driving like a granny, i pretty much drive like that all the time. :)

  12. Lauren
    September 19, 2007 1:14 pm

    Haha… that is hilarious.

  13. Ashlie
    September 19, 2007 2:09 pm

    Man that sucks! Moving coupled with having to deal with crappy insurance things would put me over the edge. I think they created a little blue pill for this exact situation….

  14. Lindsey
    September 19, 2007 2:28 pm

    I was actually half expecting about 45 Mexicans to come jumping out the back!

  15. Laural Dawn
    September 19, 2007 7:12 pm

    Nice plan about the van. And, yes, the sniper comment is kind of insensitive but SOOOO funny. I was obsessed with that – and I thought everyone had forgotten. (it was really sad though)

  16. Brie
    September 19, 2007 8:55 pm

    Sweet!!! I think its awesome to make your insurance company your bitch!!!

  17. alexa
    September 20, 2007 8:10 am

    Jan, this is why you are so thrifty smaart. Wicked Smaart.

  18. Isabel
    September 21, 2007 11:25 am

    Dude, what a great idea.

    (and I’m totally jealous of your mad photoshop skillz. JEALOUS!)

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