hot or not
November 14th, 2007 @ 1:49 am | blonde moments, love | Post a CommentEven though the husband and I missed celebrating our first anniversary on the 366th day of wedded bliss, (and considering we got legally married in the courthouse two weeks before our wedding anyway, we are already on shaky ground with the exactness of things) we are going to have a little getaway in our own city this weekend.
I found a super-cheap rate at a semi-fancy-ish hotel downtown and we are going to spend a night there pretending we are somewhere far away. No phone calls allowed, no sneaking onto the WiFi, no scooping the cat litter. And also, no packing bags for an entire weekend away, no traffic, no security lines. We will be out of town in town.
When I booked the hotel online I wrote in the comment field that we would be celebrating an anniversary. Best case scenario they upgrade us to a suite. Worst case, we get no special treatment, which is totally fine too.
I still don’t know if we will get an upgrade, but I know they took note of my extra comment because the hotel’s “Romance Concierge” has sent me no fewer than four emails congratulating me on my anniversary and promoting their special romantic add-on packages.
For example, for the small, small price of between $165 and $255 plus tax and 20% gratuity (!) (the lower price being more than the room itself), we can indulge in:
- Isabella hydrating lotion. I think I’ll stick with my Cürel, thanks. Is this “hydrating lotion” a highbrow version of this product or something?
- Shimmering bath salts. I’m cool with taking a bubble bath, but I do not need to sparkle like a My Little Pony when I get out.
- Chocolate body paint in three colors. Seriously?! Do you people have a vendetta against the housekeeping staff at your hotel? Do you really want to clean up crusty bits of cinnamon mocha paste from god knows where in the room? Please for the love of all future guests, do not offer this product.
- Vanilla whipped cream. Do you think I get my jollies reenacting scenes featuring James van der Beek (the not-hot Dawson Leery) from Varsity Blues from HIGH SCHOOL?! No, I do not.
- An assortment of tantalizing hors d’oeuvres. Do you think they make little penises out of crudités? Perhaps some little vah-jay-jays out of pickled ginger? (Okay, I am such a prude, I am grossing myself out here. This is NOT ROMANTIC.)
- Red balloons. This is an anniversary, not a toddler’s birthday party.
- A book of love poems. At least this one isn’t gross or messy, but I doubt it’s worth hundreds of dollars. Or even tens of dollars. Or even one dollar.
- Chiffon-scented candle. Perhaps I haven’t been paying attention to Project Runway, but isn’t chiffon a fabric? When I think of the stale odor of my local fabric store I do not think of romance.
- “The Romantic Game for Lovers.” Whatever that is. I’d rather stick with Truth or Dare if we are going to play silly games. Or maybe Spin the Bottle! I would suggest the Baby Name Game but that doesn’t usually go over very well on Date Night around here.
Le sigh. I guess I am just an old fuddy duddy or something. I would never pay that kind of money for their “romantic” packages. I am, however, quite looking forward to our faux getaway, and if anyone would like to volunteer to feed my cats while we are “gone,” I will offer you my undying love. And I vow that I will never show you my love by lathering you up with glittery chocolate chiffon body paint. Ever. You can thank me later.
I would totally feed your cats if possible. Also, all that stuff adds up to like $32. Are they smoking crack?
written by She Likes Purple
November 14th, 2007 @ 2:36 am
Just bring a Marvin Gaye CD with you, and you’re good to go. You’re newlyweds for goodness sake!
written by Larissa
November 14th, 2007 @ 2:55 am
You’ll just have to take lots of pictures… of the room, of course!
written by alyndabear
November 14th, 2007 @ 6:37 am
Sounds like perfect anniversary celebration. I can’t believe it’s been a year! Please take the time to send Andrew one of these awesome ecards. I love them so.
written by Sarah
November 14th, 2007 @ 8:20 am
99 Red Balloons?
written by k
November 14th, 2007 @ 9:26 am
Seriously, as a hotel, the last thing I’d want in my hotel room is chocolate body paint. Yuck!
written by Janssen
November 14th, 2007 @ 10:03 am
I totally do not understand that candle. But then, I’ve seen candles with a “fresh linen” scent that I suspect is something Downy-like. Weird.
Getaways that are close to home are the best. Good move!
written by RA
November 14th, 2007 @ 10:09 am
Chiffon is a filling. It’s light and airy, funny girl.
You need to tell Chez Aimee about all those add-on options. Hilarious.
written by alexa
November 14th, 2007 @ 10:19 am
Matt and I got in a whipped cream fight in college after a sorority event and woke up smelling like rotting dairy farm. This is not a sexy story because I believe we were fully clothed and running laps around his house.
written by alexa
November 14th, 2007 @ 10:25 am
I’m a big, huge fan of ‘getting away’ even if it means just down the street and in a hotel room with little else to do other than just being away from everything. A couple of years ago we saw the writing on the wall for the upcoming summer (how busy it would be) and so we marked off one weekend per month for the entire summer and fall. That weekend was ours as a couple. No phone calls taken, no appointments or get-togethers with anyone. Email only if we felt like it (we’re addicts, ya know). Sometimes we’d take a bigger trip a few hours away, oftentimes we’d just get KFC and go lay on a blanket by a lake. The point was we concentrated on us, not others.
So, many and copious kudos to you for remembering yourselves as a couple! Have a GREAT time, upgrades or sticky amenities notwithstanding.
written by Nathan Pralle
November 14th, 2007 @ 10:47 am
I think a in-town getaway sounds fab! And who needs pricey romance when you’ve got the real deal?!?
written by Nilsa S.
November 14th, 2007 @ 10:48 am
Romance Concierge???? I think you can be a good steward of your own romance. Enjoy your “getaway!”
written by alison
November 14th, 2007 @ 11:25 am
We went to a local hotel for our first anniversary too! I hope you have a great weekend!
written by -R-
November 14th, 2007 @ 11:27 am
I hope they throw in an extra set of sheets with all that stuff. Chocolate body paint? Hmm, I don’t know about that.
written by Virginia
November 14th, 2007 @ 11:46 am
Happy First Anniversary! Have a SPECTACULAR time! We’ll toast you at Turkey Dinner too!
LOVE YOU
written by Cuzin Renee
November 14th, 2007 @ 11:46 am
That sounds like so much fun. Joel and I did a Baltimore vacation a few years ago when we decided we couldn’t afford an all-out vacation. We didn’t stay at a hotel, but we did take a week off and went to museums and tourist spots we’d always meant to go to and went out to dinner and lunch every single day.
It was great, except for the part where we managed to get our car towed outside of Lexington Market. That part blew. But it was memorable!
written by Operation Pink Herring
November 14th, 2007 @ 11:58 am
None of those thing sound worth it! Although, when AS and I went to Wilmington for a wedding a few weeks ago, the hotel offered a scented bubble bath (in a tub big enough for two, of course) with a bottle of champagne for around $70. Had we been there for a romantic weekend, I definitely would have indulged in THAT.
written by Laurel
November 14th, 2007 @ 12:16 pm
Le sigh! I love that.
We did a Denver “getaway” for our anniversary this year and had a great time. Enjoy each other! (just maybe not with the chocolate body paint…)
written by jessica
November 14th, 2007 @ 12:20 pm
Definitely not hot. Sounds more like a big sticky mess…and not in a good way.
written by Janet
November 14th, 2007 @ 1:01 pm
Don’t pay the inflated prices for goofy stuff – bring your own! It’s not like TSA will be going through your bags. Just a few suggestions: a portable CD player, because the clock radio is probably crap; champagne and glasses; candles (other than chiffon) and whatever else is romantic to you two. Enjoy!
written by Kim
November 14th, 2007 @ 2:10 pm
It’s insane what they try to get by people today. I’m glad you didn’t fall for it because I sure would have.
written by Spunk
November 14th, 2007 @ 2:41 pm
Seriously? Who pays for that stuff? And really if you wanted a whipped cream or chocolate body paint adventure with your husband, wouldn’t you just bring it yourself? I always imagine whoever sets out that stuff being all “Oh boy these two are gonna go at it tonight” and it totally ruins the mood.
written by Emily
November 14th, 2007 @ 2:49 pm
The whipcream bikini does not work. I repeat it DOES NOT WORK.
Uh… hypothetically..
written by Ashlie
November 14th, 2007 @ 2:52 pm
OK, I love, love, love your idea of the getting married at the courthouse first. And I’m with you on the WTF? package. BF’s booking a B&B for my 25th, and they all keep trying to sell him that kind of add-ons. Because as adults, we aren’t capable of picking out our own champagne, chocolates & adult toys.
written by mbbored
November 14th, 2007 @ 2:57 pm
Good call on not getting the packages, they seem kind of crappy (as you pointed out). I think whatever you guys do or bring will be plenty enough to celebrate.
written by Katelin
November 14th, 2007 @ 3:12 pm
uhh…whatever happened to the anniversary packages including a romantic secluded dinner for two, or a couples massage?
i certainly wouldn’t purchase SEXUAL ENHANCEMENT TOYS to be delivered to me by the HOTEL MAID. cuz can you say awkward? the embarrassment of that would cause me to clean the room myself. =)
written by tia
November 14th, 2007 @ 3:31 pm
Oh my God, that is horrific!! Why don’t they just offer strawberries and champagne and a voucher to a romantic restaurant or something? Their “Romantic Packages” sound more like “Lewd Suggestions” to me!
Romantic Packages aside, it sounds like it will be a lovely evening
written by Angela
November 14th, 2007 @ 3:40 pm
And here I am, picturing the inventive souls’ whose job it was to come up with these “romantic” packages. Wonder what their qualifications are….
Happy anniversary!
written by sognatrice
November 14th, 2007 @ 4:45 pm
have fun! that is so cute to have a getaway without “getting away”.
and if you’re only going to be gone for the weekend, buy one of those automatic feeders for the cats. works like a charm
written by michelle
November 14th, 2007 @ 7:16 pm
Chocolate body paint can be hot, but not when provided by the hotel. (Bonus, you don’t have to clean up the mess)
written by Brie
November 14th, 2007 @ 10:22 pm
Happy anniversary. Oh, and I would find it creepy to know that the hotel knew that I had chocolate body paints. *shudder*. And romantic concierge? eeek.
written by Jessica
November 14th, 2007 @ 11:52 pm
Happy Anniversary–yeah, avoid the chocolate body paint at all costs!!
written by Lesli
November 15th, 2007 @ 1:39 pm
Yeah…ummm, what does chiffon smell like?? That is such a random array of unromantic “romantic” options. I think instead of those things, I’d prefer champagne and strawberries. The body paints, while tempting, I’d much rather just get warming gel-liquidy stuff that tastes like candy. Not that I have that in my bedside table or anything, I’m just saying.
written by Lindsey
November 15th, 2007 @ 5:47 pm
Have a nice trip!
Check into frederick or PA sometime, there are really nice places here and for cheap
written by Abbie
November 15th, 2007 @ 9:09 pm
Have a nice trip!
Check into frederick or PA sometime, there are really nice places here and for cheap
written by Abbie
November 15th, 2007 @ 9:09 pm
That is some insane stuff right there. Hope you guys have lots of fun, though! What a great idea.
written by Zandria
November 15th, 2007 @ 10:17 pm
I think that it’s awesome you guys are getting away in town. My hubby and I do that all the time. My in laws have a vacation house that they never use in our neighborhood, so one time I got a babysitter and told the kids dad and I were going out of town and we just went there for the night. How lame is that, but you do what you gotta do.
written by Monica
November 15th, 2007 @ 10:46 pm
Oh my gosh now I’m number 38! Just commenting to tell you I tagged you on a meme. I’m sorry to do that to you but your about the only person I know with a blog.
written by alison
November 16th, 2007 @ 7:10 pm
Happy anniversary! And yeah, that romance package is kind of gross and so not worth it. Sadly, you’d probably be better off with the baby name game.
written by angela
November 17th, 2007 @ 10:33 am