March 30, 2008 · filed under dc
urban zoo animal
When we started house hunting last summer it quickly became clear that the kinds of places we could afford in the city were in somewhat sketchy neighborhoods. We looked at several dozen places, and in a good number of them I feared for our safety. In the end, we stretched our budget a little bit and ended up with a place where we feel safe almost all the time.
It helps that every single door and window of our home has bars on it. I like the bars! I know that nobody can break in unless they have the strength to bend steel beams. Of course, anything can happen on the street, but you can say that about any street in this city.
So yeah, we live in a city where crime happens, drug deals happen. We’re careful and alert and so far we haven’t been the victim of anything bad in our new neighborhood or anywhere else in the city. I hope that streak is never broken.
But see, there’s still this one thing that scares me.
Behind our house is a very, very creepy alley. It twists and turns and widens until you end up behind some big buildings on a totally different street. There’s a bunch of abandoned junk strewn around, and it might even serve as a campground for homeless guys, though I’ve never caught anyone back there.
Except for this:
A big, stuffed cheetah. He’s just chillin’ on a lawn chair in a patch of bamboo. Every single time I round the corner and spot him, he freaks me out!
But really, he’s harmless. I hope.
I hope that this cheetah remains my biggest danger in the neighborhood. But I’m still making my husband take out the trash. I don’t want to take any chances.
Tweet26 Comments
oh, hello
miller everett
Jen
March 30, 2008 7:05 pm
lol, how random is that??!?!?!
Nic
March 30, 2008 7:30 pm
OH that is soooo weird!
Julie
March 30, 2008 7:56 pm
maybe it’s there to scare people away…
Kind of like an urban scarecrow.
kirida
March 30, 2008 8:50 pm
I prefer that kind of danger.
RA
March 30, 2008 9:22 pm
Oh, for the love. I thought it was a giraffe! And not stuffed!
When we were house-hunting, we looked at such crappy places, which I guess came with our low budget. But persistence pays off, doesn’t it? And safety first!
Operation Pink Herring
March 30, 2008 9:27 pm
IM IN UR ALLEYZ, HIDIN IN UR BAMBOOZ
Zandria
March 30, 2008 9:59 pm
That’s a good idea about the trash! (And don’t worry, if you decide you’re no longer scared, I won’t tell him so. Let him handle it!)
Emily
March 30, 2008 10:44 pm
hahaha. That thing is SUPER creepy!
Melissa
March 30, 2008 10:51 pm
lol at this post… and I love the comment up there by Operation Pink Herring too!
ambitiousmrs
March 30, 2008 11:11 pm
I’m sure that would spook me too! Alley’s are scary even in the best neighborhood in my opinion. Remember the homeless guy who used to live behind my house? He used our hose to bathe during the day (we know because he left behind his bar of soap). And that was in a very suburban neighborhood!
Lele
March 31, 2008 2:19 am
He looks so sad and lonely. Maybe you can adopt him and give him a nice home– take a cat off the streets!
Abbie
March 31, 2008 9:52 am
Janet, you know when I tell people about bars on windows they look at me funny.
I guess it’s a DC thing.
Britni
March 31, 2008 9:53 am
Can I ask why this is there??
Nathan Pralle
March 31, 2008 10:42 am
I’ve always had the policy that if I’m driving in a city and I get to an area with bars on the windows, I need to get THE HELL OUT in a big, big hurry. I’m kinda…well….shocked that anyone as non-trashy and intelligent as yourself lives in such a location, but maybe it’s not reserved for the really bad neighborhoods (as you seem to indicate). I still think it’d make me awfully nervous.
Nilsa S.
March 31, 2008 11:03 am
It’s like an urban scarecrow … keeping the up-to-no-good at bay!
elise
March 31, 2008 11:33 am
I don’t know where this false sense of concern about that cheetah is coming from. He is clearly out there making deals.
Laurel
March 31, 2008 11:55 am
That guy is scary!! He kind of looks like he might try to take a swipe at you.
Alexa
March 31, 2008 1:53 pm
I LOVE the Cheetah. I wish I could take credit for putting him there.
There’s bars on many windows in Georgetown and in your old ‘hood too. It is just city living.
Michelle & the City
March 31, 2008 2:56 pm
well at least it’s stuffed
but STILL. kinda creepy if you didn’t put it there…
mel
March 31, 2008 2:56 pm
Love the cheetah. It would probably scare the crap out of me, too, everytime I encountered it.
I just could not live behind bars. So KUDOS to you. I’d be telling Trent that yeah, we’d have to move to a city where I wouldn’t have to have bars on my window (we actually almost had to move to Chicago….and the house we had picked had bars. scary…)…
alyndabear
March 31, 2008 4:29 pm
Okay… that’s hilarious. And creepy. But mostly hilarious. I think you should name him Squishy, and he shall be your Squishy!
Wickedly Scarlett
March 31, 2008 4:36 pm
Oh my gosh, that is so randomly hilarious!! I hope you always stay safe from the cheetah and his wicked ways…
katelin
March 31, 2008 4:55 pm
haha, that would definitely freak me out too.
Jen
March 31, 2008 6:49 pm
I didn’t know there was a cheetah in our neighborhood!! Be careful!
K
April 1, 2008 8:42 am
I don’t think I would mind the bars so much. I have seen some really cute townhomes (are they called rowhouses in the city?) in DC that are very quaint looking even with the bars. Piece of mind I suppose.
Totally off topic: I must confess that each time I use my razor in the shower (usually at 5am) I’m afraid I’m going to accidentally slice my eyeball. I read your story a while back but it STILL haunts me to this day.
Marisa
April 1, 2008 10:28 am
Have you seen those new Chester the Cheetah ads for Cheetohs? I read this hilarious Slate article about him. He’s quite a pimp daddy now. Your bf better not leave you alone w/him er…it.