it seems my parachute is multi-colored
February 21st, 2007 @ 10:16 pm | blonde moments, dc | Post a CommentI ran into a former co-worker tonight who has a nice, respectable job with a fancy title at a DC-area publication. Other former co-workers are senior staffers for leading presidential candidates. One of my destination wedding internet friends (SHUTUP yes I still hang out on the message boards. Don’t be judgy.) is a producer for my favorite HGTV show. My sister is about to be a dentist.
So, um, where is my “career?” I’m not really here to complain about work. It’s just that I wonder sometimes where I am going. Am I behind? Is everyone on earth making more money than me? Is this really what I want to do with my life?
Partly I think I have a case of the grass being greener everywhere else but in my own yard. Sometimes I think I’d be good at running a small business. But what would I sell? And who pays me for vacation?
Sometimes I think I want to be an event planner. Or maybe a painter (crap, I don’t even paint!). Or maybe a teacher. How about a house-flipper? A writer? No, definitely a pretty paper store owner. A consultant. And a web designer. Maybe a professional quesadilla-maker. (Yes, I have a patent-pending technique for making the perfect quesadilla. Ask me about it next time we’ve been drinking, okay?)
I guess this is what your 20s are about, figuring out your place in the world after college. Once I get to my 30s I’m sure I’ll be struggling with the idea of balancing my dream career with motherhood and mortages. In my 40s I’ll be dealing with a sassy teenager who exists solely to make me feel terrible about the way I treated my own mother when I was a teen.
With absolutely no clear answers right now, I’m off to bed with my not-yet-on-the-newstands free copy of the Washingtonian. At least there are perks to having friends in high places.
You are SO not alone. I feel exactly the same way. I definitely think that it’s something we all go through in our mid-twenties.
I do hope that one of these days I’ll feel like I’m going in the right direction, because there are definitely days when I think “What the heck am I doing?”
However, I do think that ‘professional quesadilla maker’ sounds like a great career!
written by Jenni
February 22nd, 2007 @ 12:03 am
Dude, all I could think when reading this was “Man, she has way more interesting and important friends than I do…I wonder how she meets them all…. and what I’m doing wrong….do I need to be on more message boards?”
So how’s THAT to make you feel better?
written by elise
February 22nd, 2007 @ 3:54 am
I know exactly what you mean, hence the graduate school path I’ve selected. Even though I’m going to finish with a “career” I still worry about whether this is right or not. I guess we just have to keep going and trying different things. No pressure yet…
Also, if you ever want to open a wee boutique together…I am so there!
written by Sarah
February 22nd, 2007 @ 6:45 am
I didn’t finish college until I was 24, but then I really liked my job. Maybe because I was working with a bunch of 20somethings and that was fun. Now that I’m married and in my 30s… I’m not so sure I can see myself doing this for the rest of my life. Especially with a baby, and maybe because several of my friends are stay-at-home moms now and play dates sound more fun than business analysis and project management!
written by Jane
February 22nd, 2007 @ 7:13 am
Oh jeez… I feel you. All of you. Damn. As a crotchety old lady, I’ve acknowledged my grass is greener attitude, but I still hate it, a lot.
Eight bajillion years of graduate school later, I feel like I’m on a good career path, but still? Is it what I want? I’m so amazed by people who know exactly what they want to do, who they want to be, when they’re only 18, 19, 20… Hell, I’m amazed at you all who know this at 35. I hope to know eventually.
written by Marianne
February 22nd, 2007 @ 8:21 am
Oh yeah. I liken it to the days of the first jobs out of college and everyone else was higher in demand and getting more money and SO freaking excited about their jobs. And I wasn’t any of those things. And more importantly, I had absolutely no idea what I wanted in life, what I wanted to do or be. Yeah, and I’m still there. I just started a new job and I like it, and it has its advantages, but I still have no idea what I want to be doing in five years. I do like the idea of being a professional quesadilla maker. I figure I can be a professional chocolate taster, a professional gift finder, professional blogger (um, not doing so well in that department…), and I would make a very good philanthropist. Or maybe I should go back to school to be a doctor. I could also open a variety of boutiques (how much freaking fun would a baby boutique be?!), be a professional food critic, be a travel critic, or really, anything that doesn’t confine me behind a desk.
Yeah, you’re not alone, at all. But I could probably use a partner in my professional chocolate tasting business.
written by Nic
February 22nd, 2007 @ 8:26 am
I’m right there with you. I always wonder if I’m really doing exactly what I want to do “when I grow up.” I do really like my job (actually LOVE it most days), but perhaps I can do more. I have a lot of time where I should be freelancing and such. I just know I’m not living up to my full potential, and it bugs me.
written by angela
February 22nd, 2007 @ 8:42 am
Oh sigh, it’s so hard to know if we’re all really doing the right thing with our lives. For the record, I think you’d be great at any of your suggested careers (except maybe the pro-quesadilla-maker - I think you’d find food service unimpressive :))!
On a totally seperate note - my MOTHER is starting a blog! And I don’t even have one! Something is off in this world!
written by alison
February 22nd, 2007 @ 9:59 am
Hey, I feel you. Not only is it hard to pick the right “career,” but it’s scary to finally make the decision! I think all of us 20-somethings are in the same boat.
After all, once you’ve lived in the Playboy Mansion, what other career could compare?
written by Laurel
February 22nd, 2007 @ 10:04 am
I don’t know about you, but I have the same exact stream of consciousness every month or so. Even worse, 80% of my friends are teachers (including my husband), so they’re set for the next 30 years, barring a bad contract or ridiculous students/parents, plus summers off. It’s hard to be in that environment and not wonder why I’m not doing the same. Then I remember that I would hate teaching and that John Donne (and several other people) once intoned that comparisons are odious. Bah.
I guess I’m trying to think of my job as just a job and what I like to do (writing, editing) as more of a vocation to pursue in the meantime. I hope that the job and vocation will intersect one day - picture a Venn diagram here - but I’d like to think that I would be okay with it if they didn’t.
Anyway - paper store owner would be my personal pick, followed closely by quesadilla maker. I do love pretty paper… and who doesn’t love a good quesadilla?
written by RA
February 22nd, 2007 @ 10:18 am
Even though I don’t wish these “what do I do?” feelings on you, it’s always nice to know that other people have the same questions I do. It would be so much easier if I knew EXACTLY what I wanted to do, because then I could go about trying to make them happen. The hardest part is deciding on something.
But I bet some of your friends with fancy titles have the same thoughts you do.
written by Zandria
February 22nd, 2007 @ 12:46 pm
I could have written this word for word (except for the part about being a web designer, I couldn’t do that). If you figure any of this out, please let me know! I would also like to know the meaning of life.
written by Jen
February 22nd, 2007 @ 2:59 pm
I echo Jen - I could also have written this word for word. I hate what I do and I feel like a waste doing it. I have absolutely no answers, but I can say that what helped me figure out what I want to do with the rest of my life (Next year!! Whee!!) is figuring out what I had previously ruled out because “I can’t do that”-type self-talk and then taking classes on it. Request a community college catalog, seriously! At those prices you can take whatever class you think might be interesting and go with it. The worst case scenario is that you take a class in something you don’t enjoy but you still learn something. It helped me and next year I go full-time for my nursing clinicals.
Now, if THAT doesn’t make me happy I officially have less than no answers.
written by Jurgen Nation
February 22nd, 2007 @ 3:56 pm
Psh, I am teaching and I STILL don’t know if this is what I want to do for the next however-many-years. Knowing is overrated.
written by alyndabear
February 22nd, 2007 @ 7:20 pm
I know how you feel. Even though I really like my job and the direction it’s going, I still have those panicky moments of…oh my god, is this what I’m going to be doing forever? What if I don’t want to do this? What if I picked the wrong thing? I guess I’ll just figure it all out along the way. It was so easy before the “real world” because everything was so obvious to me…go to school, graduate, go to college, graduate. oh crap! now what?!
written by Lindsey
February 24th, 2007 @ 9:08 am
Oh and my parachute is pink with some sparkles.
written by Lindsey
February 24th, 2007 @ 9:09 am
Can totally relate. Seems like web designing could become a side hobby to what you are doing now and perhaps an entire enterprise would evenutally grow from this work! Remember that you have the title “Senior” in your job position from your latest promotion, which designates that you are a valued and high performer, and I think that’s truly impressive! And you have a socially conscious job that helps kids! (I’m still working on eventually moving beyond an “assistant” job role and being able to help the young somehow, so I think you are an inspiration more than you know…
written by Tanya L.
February 26th, 2007 @ 8:19 pm
Now I’m confused and a dolt. Out of the loop. What exactly are you doing right now if not a career? Did I miss something? Probably since tax season started I’ve been missing my Blonde time. Help a poor confused girl out.
p.s. do you need the new passcode to my blog?
written by CPA Mom
February 27th, 2007 @ 8:14 pm
Oh my… I am exactly the same way. I thought I was the only one that wanted to be a pretty paper store owner, like Swoozies!
I just found your blog and I am enjoying it very much.
written by amcati
March 8th, 2007 @ 1:37 pm