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pimp my ride

September 18th, 2007 @ 11:30 pm | blonde moments | Post a Comment

Some people say, “When life hands you lemons, make lemonade.”

I say, “When life hands you a wrecked car and a cross-town move at the same time, make the insurance company your b*tch.”

And that is how I ended up as the driver of a big, white cargo van for the next week, at the expense of my lovely insurance company. I was going to call it my sniper van, but then I realized that might be a little insensitive. (Even though I really do look like a terrorist driving it.)

It’s a little weird to be driving such a mammoth vehicle, especially since I’ve been spooked about driving in general ever since the accident. I know I need to just get over it. I had a perfect driving record for ten whole years, so I tell myself the accident was a fluke that could happen to anyone. Yet I can’t stop driving like a half-blind, overly-cautious grandma* now.

who wants a ride?

Have I mentioned I am already the master of (illegally) parking this beast? Any suggestions for what else I could write on the side of my new wheels?

*No offense to grandmas! I love my grannies! Imitation is the highest form of flattery, right?

comments

  1. That is ingenious. I am in awe of your manipulation of the insurance company for your moving needs. Usually it’s the other way around, with them sodomising their customers.

    Yay for you!

    written by E :)

    September 19th, 2007 @ 1:04 am

  2. As a former employee of one (actually a whole bunch) of the big insurance companies, I salute you! Ps I was one of the good guys that talked people OUT of buying useless coverage LOL

    written by maya

    September 19th, 2007 @ 1:22 am

  3. Ha, I’m sure you’re the coolest granny in town!

    written by alyndabear

    September 19th, 2007 @ 2:43 am

  4. You are my hero for turning the tables on the insurance company. Somehow I always end up their bitch. And I say “always” because I had a perfect driving record for all of 5 months when I was 17. (Why peeps always gotta be crashin into me?)

    There is nothing wrong with driving like a grandma. Safety first!

    written by Operation Pink Herring

    September 19th, 2007 @ 8:55 am

  5. Very smooth ride for the move, indeed. But is Bruce going to be fixed up eventually? Seeing those pictures still makes me cringe.

    I think you should get a vanity plate at some point that’s like, “GRANJAN”. Or maybe that’s too many letters.

    written by RA

    September 19th, 2007 @ 9:11 am

  6. That seriously made me laugh out loud. Youa are now officially the vehicle I refuse to park next to in a parking lot for fear of being abducted.

    written by Emily

    September 19th, 2007 @ 10:29 am

  7. Just the thought of my grandmother driving that van is priceless.

    written by Julie

    September 19th, 2007 @ 10:31 am

  8. That thing is amazing looking! Driving it would terrify me.

    I think you need to make up a tag to be spray painted gigantically all over the side. You know, like the airbrushed t-shirts popular in the 80s.

    written by Laurel

    September 19th, 2007 @ 11:52 am

  9. If profiling really does take place (who are we kidding, we know it does), there’s no way you’d be pulled over for fear of being a sniper. More for fear of carrying a van full of helium balloons, clowns and puppy dogs! :)

    written by Nilsa S.

    September 19th, 2007 @ 12:08 pm

  10. I second Emily’s abduction comment. There is no way I’d be able to park that thing.

    On a sidenote - I wanted to tell you to check out the new twenty something blog ring I wrote about on my blog yesterday.

    written by elysa

    September 19th, 2007 @ 12:59 pm

  11. absolutely no wrong in driving like a granny, i pretty much drive like that all the time. :)

    written by katelin

    September 19th, 2007 @ 1:07 pm

  12. Haha… that is hilarious.

    written by Lauren

    September 19th, 2007 @ 1:14 pm

  13. Man that sucks! Moving coupled with having to deal with crappy insurance things would put me over the edge. I think they created a little blue pill for this exact situation….

    written by Ashlie

    September 19th, 2007 @ 2:09 pm

  14. I was actually half expecting about 45 Mexicans to come jumping out the back!

    written by Lindsey

    September 19th, 2007 @ 2:28 pm

  15. Nice plan about the van. And, yes, the sniper comment is kind of insensitive but SOOOO funny. I was obsessed with that - and I thought everyone had forgotten. (it was really sad though)

    written by Laural Dawn

    September 19th, 2007 @ 7:12 pm

  16. Sweet!!! I think its awesome to make your insurance company your bitch!!!

    written by Brie

    September 19th, 2007 @ 8:55 pm

  17. Jan, this is why you are so thrifty smaart. Wicked Smaart.

    written by alexa

    September 20th, 2007 @ 8:10 am

  18. Dude, what a great idea.

    (and I’m totally jealous of your mad photoshop skillz. JEALOUS!)

    written by Isabel

    September 21st, 2007 @ 11:25 am

  19. […] House details trickled out. I got in my first car wreck ever in our brand new car. That sucked. Andrew got a humongous tv. I got a humongous sniper van. We closed on the house! Let’s just say that in September 2007 we spent more money that I ever thought possible. […]

    written by love is blonde » 2007: still pretty darn good

    January 4th, 2008 @ 1:02 am