kiss the cook
October 30th, 2007 @ 8:56 pm | miscellany | Post a CommentHow many nights in a row must I cook dinner from scratch and do the dishes to be up for Wife of the Year?
Cause if the answer is One, then I am so totally winning this thing.
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Last year I had a pretty good excuse for not participating in NaBloPoMo. This year, I really have no excuse, but it doesn’t mean I’m going to do it anyway. Maybe I’m just grumpy, but I just have absolutely zero desire to post every day. Sure, I could stand to improve my current 2x/week schedule, but daily posting would dilute my already pointless babble into…I don’t know, murky echos of Charlie Brown’s mother’s phone voice. Wah Wah Waaaahh Wah. (At least that’s how I remember it from the cartoon.)
Who out there is joining me in this dramatic act of e-rebellion?
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Lately I’ve been feeling bad about all the sugar/faux sugar in yogurt so I’ve gone back to my childhood staple of eating plain yogurt sweetened with a little honey. However, my trusty bear-shaped bottle of honey is getting kind of old and the honey was all stuck at the bottom in crystallized clumps. I put Mr. Bear into the microwave (despite explicit DO NOT MICROWAVE warnings on the label) for what I thought was 30 seconds on level 3 but must have been 30 seconds on level 10×33, and my poor little bear melted into an amoeba. Which does not at all have the marketing charm of the bear. Whoops.
I’m not sure if the DO NOT MICROWAVE warning is there because of the superfast melting powers of the plastic, or a disclaimer that when the toxins released by the hot plastic give me cancer that I am under no circumstances allowed to sue the pants off of Safeway, Inc. It did get me thinking about the many hidden dangers lurking in kitchen though.
I had a friend in college who refused to stand in front a microwave while it was on. He also refused to open the door until the timer beeped and an additional five seconds elapsed. He swore that if you opened the door any sooner, you were exposing yourself to harmful and deadly microwaves.
So what’s worse? Death by faux sugar? Death by plastic toxins? or Death by microwaves?
And really, I’m sorry for all the morbidity, but are there any other appliances I should worry are shortening my life?
I’d worry about the electric beaters. If you try to lick them and forget that they are on, they can give you a nasty bite. Evil, evil things.
There’s nothing wrong with being paranoid. Is there? IS THERE?
written by E :)
October 30th, 2007 @ 9:03 pm
I used to work with someone who was ultra paranoid about the microwave too.
What about the iron…I’ve been burned more than once.
written by Brie
October 30th, 2007 @ 9:39 pm
I’m not doing NaBloPoMo, either. It’s entirely unappealing to me and I’m annoyed that I can’t figure out how to pronounce the darn thing. Nah-Blow-Poe-Moe, with even emphasis? Nuh-BLOP-uh-moe? I am stymied.
written by RA
October 30th, 2007 @ 10:05 pm
I’ve switched to plain yogurt with frozen berries myself. Delicious and no chance of death by fake sugar / toxins / microwaves!
written by Laurel
October 30th, 2007 @ 10:12 pm
Mmmm, sugar… I mean, uh, wait. I was going to comment on the morbidity thing. Honey, (no pun intended, promise!) it’s Halloween! You can be as morbid as you like! :o)
xox
written by heidikins
October 31st, 2007 @ 1:57 am
I love sugar.
Okay, that’s seriously all I could come up with. And you’ve cooked one more dinner than I have this week, so all awards are well deserved.
I’ve heard lots of microwave rumours, but really? No idea. I love mine though, and apparently will be keeping all plastic bears away from it.
And me and my strangeness pronounce it “Nay Blo Po Mo”. But I’m just a strange Aussie, so don’t take my word for it.
written by alyndabear
October 31st, 2007 @ 7:25 am
If you were to die from putting the faux sugar in a plastic container, placing it in the microwave, throwing it out the window and forgetting you had SuperGlue on your hands. Well, I think that’d be the worst death of all.
written by Nilsa S.
October 31st, 2007 @ 8:40 am
Yay! Up until today, I was the only blogger I knew NOT doing NaBloPoMo. November is the busiest month of my life by far, and adding one more thing is likely to make me want to drive my car right off a cliff
How’s that for morbidity? Hee!
written by elise
October 31st, 2007 @ 9:09 am
The frozen berries are yummy in yogurt, but honey and some granola is good too. Add some flax seed and you’ll be doing your cholesterol a favor too.
Are germs on the communial dishware at work (no dishwasher) worse than microwaving my lunch in plastic? I struggle with the concerns myself.
written by alexa
October 31st, 2007 @ 9:14 am
How about a fridge next to your gas stove which is sandwiched between the dishwasher and washing machine. Yes, these four items are jammed into my kitchen. It is nice to be able to do a load of laundry in the same space as I am baking a cake- not that I bake cakes…
written by Lori
October 31st, 2007 @ 9:14 am
Death by faux sugar, definitely. If I’m going to die, I’d rather die by real sugar, thanks.
written by Lisa
October 31st, 2007 @ 10:50 am
I will not be joining NaBloPoMo. The thought of posting daily (weekends!) makes me sick to my stomach. Well, either it’s that or the toxins from my microwave. I can’t be sure.
written by Isabel
October 31st, 2007 @ 11:41 am
I did try to make an effort not to stand near the microwave when I was pregnant. There is so much to fear in the world (cell phones, plastic, lead, airplane travel, choking on a ham sandwich) I say just be happy and do/eat what you enjoy. Next thing you know they’ll announce that wearing flip flops or driving on the right side of the street causes cancer. I can’t keep it straight!
written by alison
October 31st, 2007 @ 12:31 pm
You, lady, are hilarious. An amoeba! Of all things I could never think of that are witty!
I’m with that guy on the microwave thingy. I’ve heard that the further away from it you are while it is nuking, the safer you’ll be. Of course, just the fact that it is called “nuking” should give us some idea that they aren’t the best appliance in the world. Hub-E and I are making an effort to not use it as much. It’s just as easy and takes only a little bit longer to use the stove. Just think, if you’d have put a pot of water on the stove and turned the heat on medium and plunked your little honey bear into the water, you’d still have that cutesy bear and the honey, and you wouldn’t have an amoeba or radiation!
I also don’t like to flush the toilet if the lid is up because the contents get sprayed into your face in little tiny micro-sized particles. EW!!!
And I’m not doing NABLOPOMO either this year. Can’t. Too scared.
written by Chiada
October 31st, 2007 @ 12:58 pm
Can’t you do like you did with Blogher and make an un-NaBloPoMo club? Where we pledge to read all of the entries posted as part of NaBloPoMo?
I might have considered NaBloPoMo until Isabel mentioned that weekend shit. HELLLLLL no.
written by Erika
October 31st, 2007 @ 1:33 pm
Everything in this world is “killing” us! Even my make-up is being absorbed into my skin and I’ll probably end up with cancer. Is there anything good for us anymore?? I am afraid of everything!
Also, I signed up for NaBloPoMo, but I am seriously, seriously regretting it already. Last year I felt up for the challenge, but right now I am feeling pissed that I HAVE to post tomorrow OR ELSE. Watch me mess it up on the first day.
written by Lindsey
October 31st, 2007 @ 9:10 pm
I’m not doing NaBloPoMo either (and up until about a week ago, i was saying na-po-bla-mo in my head. am smart.) I just don’t feel the need to add another thing to my to-do list every single day. power to everyone else though!
The microwaving foods in plastic debate resulted in one of the worst fights I’ve ever had with Joel. I still don’t believe it is harmful, but I’ve stopped doing it just to keep the peace!
written by Operation Pink Herring
November 1st, 2007 @ 9:23 am
I am stealing the honey in yogurt idea. And I refuse to read death by microwave because if I didn’t use the microwave I might starve so I’m just going to play dumb.
written by elysa
November 1st, 2007 @ 5:52 pm
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written by love is blonde | blog archives | 2007: still pretty darn good
January 16th, 2008 @ 11:01 pm