love is blonde

Don’t ask me how I find these things. Chalk it up to doing 97% of my shopping online. First up is this awesome horrible cat mobile. I love cats as much as the next crazy cat lady, but I would never subject my baby to this kind of torture.

I threatened to buy this for my husband and hang it over his side of the bed. He said, “I’d probably never sleep because I’d be so enthralled.” Haha.

Oh, and I forgot to tell you the BEST thing about it! It costs $179.00!!!!! Oh, how many better things I could barf up for the low, low price of 17,900 pennies.

Next item. This one isn’t so much ugly as much as just…creepy. Please come over to my house, where I will silently demand that you take off all your clothes when you step into my bathroom. Even if all you really wanted to do was pee!

In case you aren’t really sure what this is, it’s a vinyl wall decal. These are all the rage nowadays. And for the most part, they’re cute. But this? Just kinda skeevs me out. Have I turned into a prude?

(Just to be nice, here is something I really like available from the same shop. Good karma come back to me please! I love Etsy shops!)

Anyone out there come across weird crap for sale on the internets lately? Please share!

A lesson in 7 easy steps:

Day 1, Step 1: Wash your hair in your morning shower with a good, clarifying shampoo. (I would recommend a specific shampoo here if I was ever satisfied by my shampoo, which I am not. The quest continues…) Apply conditioner to the tips of your hair, but not too much to the scalp/roots.

Day 1, Step 2: Blowdry your hair with a flat and/or round brush until it’s straight, sleek, and shiny. Do not apply any product, and make sure you dry it ALL THE WAY to avoid frizz and flatness.

Day 1, Step 3: Go about your day as usual, but DO NOT TOUCH YOUR HAIR if possible.

Day 2, Step 4: When you wake up, put your hair into a loose ponytail/bun before you hop into the shower. Try your best not to touch your scalp. In the shower, keep your hair as dry as possible, but wash everything else. We don’t want you to stink!

Day 2, Step 5: Upon exiting the shower, give your hair a blast of the blowdryer, especially in the front/crown area where it may have gotten a little damp in the shower. Use a big round brush to give a little bit of body to the top layer. Also, brush out any tangles at the bottom, but do not brush your hair from root to tip.

Day 2, Step 6: Dab your hairline, your part, and other parts of the crown of your head with one of two items:

• Old fashioned baby powder. Pros: Cheap and you can find it anywhere. Cons: Hard to apply and sometimes comes out in giant white globs instead of airy clouds.
• Dry shampoo. I’ve had success with this Oscar Blandi brand, and $11 of the stuff will last forever. I don’t love the smell of it, but the pointy tip makes application super easy. (Fewer white globs.)

Try to anticipate where your hair gets greasy first, and pooft some powder onto those areas. You can always brush/blowdry any accidental globs out, but the goal is to try not to touch your scalp unless you absolutely must.

Voila! You have achieved what I call “leftover hair.”

Day 2, Step 7: Your hair should be looking pretty decent through the morning, especially with the blowdrying + powder action. Like I said above, the goal for the rest of the day is: DO NOT touch your hair. Just…don’t. Your hands are oily and your scalp is oily, and if you touch your hair, you will be distributing the oil all around. If you must, I will permit a late day ponytail, but often this shows off even more of your scalp.

A few disclaimers:

1. I have very blonde hair, so I’m not sure how well this works for brunettes. Do any brunettes out there have advice?
2. This works better in low humidity, obviously. I doubt I’ll be able to keep this up through a DC summer.
3. This system also falls apart if you work out every day or sweat a lot. I try to plan my workouts so I wash my hair every 36 hours, which is better than every day, but not as good as every other.
4. You do not need to spend a lot of money on products for this. In fact, ZERO product at all, plus a penny’s worth of baby powder can do the trick just fine.

Do any readers have tips or advice or success stories, or do you think this whole quitting shampoo phase is stupid and should die a swift death? Do share!

I tagged myself. Ain’t no shame in that. Found this one over at Heidikins‘ blog. I love that girl.

What is your current obsession? Trying to wash my hair every other day without looking homeless. (Hey, should I do a post on that?) I’m also still stuck on those damn Bertolli meal-in-a-bags. I could say birds, but every night at 1:30 am these damn birds have been chirping outside my window, and it’s really starting to piss me the hell off.

Okay, here is something I am really obsessed with: the Sneak Peeks over at design*sponge. SWOON.

Do you nap a lot? All weekend long, as often as possible. 99% of the time with my husband, which means it’s quality time, not wasted at all. If I could find a way to nap at work, trust me, I would.

Who was the last person you hugged? I’m not sure why this question annoys me. I do like to hug that guy I live with…

What was the last thing you bought? A soft white cardigan for this fickle spring weather. On sale at Filene’s, of course.

What are you listening to right now? the hum of the furnace. See fickle spring weather above.

What is your favorite weather? 77 degrees, blue skies, hint of a breeze, ABSOLUTELY NO MOISTURE IN THE AIR. Not that I’m sensitive to frizz or anything…

What’s on your bedside table? A cup of water, always a plastic cup. Water just tastes better from plastic cups. A small IKEA lamp with a 15 watt bulb. I love reading late into the night in the near dark. We call that lamp “Two Watt.” This week’s New Yorker, and about eight others, all in various stages of read-ness. The alarm clock is on the husband’s side, because I cannot be trusted with it. My name is Janet and I abuse the snooze button.

Say something to the person/s who tagged you. Gosh do I just love myself…kidding. Heidi. Sometimes I think we are long lost sisters and I always appreciate your cheery messages to me. When are we going to finally meet?!?!

If you could have a house totally paid for, fully furnished anywhere in the world, where would you want it to be? How about a big old house in a great old neighborhood in Denver? Life without a mortgage would be liberating.

Favorite vacation spot? Hard to top the wedding/honeymoon in Cabo. I’ve had some of the most fun in odd places though, like a girls’ weekend in Akron. Two trips I’d like to take are Vieques, Puerto Rico and a road trip up the coast of California.

Name the things you can’t live without. My iPhone (named “God”), my husband, my childhood blankie, pedicures, my family, flip-flops, jeans, Google Reader, and carbs.

What would you like to have in your hands right now? A tiny kitten?

What would you like to get rid of? Clutter in my house. It’s not horrible, but it’s not nearly a little as I’d like.

If you could be anywhere in the world for the next hour, where would you go? Sound asleep next to my husband, somewhere in a giant comfy bed, where time stops and one hour turns into twelve. Can you tell I am really damn tired right now that I can’t think of anything better?

Wait, I have a better answer. I’d spend an hour with my BFF and her awesome daughter and family. I hate that I see them so infrequently! There are A LOT of people in my life who I don’t see enough. It’s hard to live so far away from people I love.

What did you want to become as a child? Probably a teacher like my mom, or a lawyer like my dad. I became neither.

What do you like better, e-mail or telephone calls? Addicted to both. I call my mom every day and chat on the phone as much as I have time for with friends. But gmail is my homie.

What do you do when you get time alone? Watch really bad TV, like Millionaire Matchmaker, which….hey…isn’t that on RIGHT NOW? Oh yes…just turned it on. Life is good, and who needs sleep anyway?

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Please add these items to my list of things I will never do:

• Enter my one-year-old into a beauty pageant. I don’t think I need to justify my thinking on this one.
• Have a body like Jillian Michaels. Unfortunately.
• Follow my office’s No Jeans policy if my boss is on vaca in the Caribbean.

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Lesli asked me if my daffodils ever bloomed. They did! Are they sure are pretty. Now only if the sun would begin to shine again.

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I tweeted last week about sitting on a jury. Of course, you never think you’re going to get picked, but on the very first jury trial of the day I found myself as Juror #7. The charges related to possession and distribution of heroin.

The trial itself lasted two days, with a day at the beginning for jury selection and a day at the end for deliberation. Everything ran rather smoothly in the courtroom and in the jury room, which was a pleasant surprise after hearing a few horror stories. If anything, I felt that the real failure is the fact that a 60-ish year old man, a disabled Vietnam Veteran, was selling heroin to his fellow veteran buddies outside of the VA Hospital. It was all just rather sad.

We found him guilty. The defense witnessess were so clearly lying. They may understandably distrust the police and the justice system, but they were also pretty bad storytellers. Unfortunately, the prosecution sort of sucked, too. The judge spent a lot of time whisper-yelling at the prosecutor and giving her a lesson in How to Properly Ask Questions of Her Witnesses. In the end, the twelve jurors had to rely on the evidence to guide our verdict, and we sent an old man to prison. It didn’t really feel like a victory.

I’m sure I’ll get called again in exactly two years. It’s nearly a guarantee in DC; I guess our ratio of potential jurors to criminals is low.

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Has anyone tried the new Starbucks VIA? A few weeks ago I signed up for free samples, but they’ve never arrived! Not that I really need to enable my growing coffee addiction affection, but I’m insanely curious! Starbucks people, if you are out there listening, send me samples pretty pretty please!

RA interviewed me! (I heart RA, in case you didn’t know this already.)

1. What are you looking forward to?

In the short term, the weekend. Working 12 hours on a Monday should be illegal.

In the medium term, our trip to Italy (and maybe Paris?) in June. I should hear back tomorrow about my vacation request so keep your fingers crossed for me.

In the long term, my cheesy-cheese answer is that I am looking forward to when my lovely husband is ready to have a baby. Just being honest here. (I’m working on him!)

2. If you could try an occupation for a week, what would it be?

Assuming I could not be a lady of leisure, and gosh I sure hope that is not a code word for prostitute, because No, Thank You…but really I just want to laze around and get paid…I will go with artist or graphic designer. I would love to design prints and any other kind of 2-D loveliness.

One of my potential dream jobs is a philanthropic adviser — helping rich people high net worth individuals give away their money — so I certainly wouldn’t turn down an opportunity to get some experience doing that.

3. Which item in your wardrobe makes you feel great when you wear it, and why?

Lately I feel great wearing my running clothes (Old Navy yoga pants, paperthin ancient tank top, and paperthin Old Navy fitted tee) because it means I am sweating on the treadmill. In my less aerobic endeavors, I always feel great in a pair of dark jeans, a black sweater, and sassy heels. So boring, huh?

4. What is your favorite thing to cook?

Mexican food! So it’s not exactly Mexican, but this weekend I made pupusas filled with cheese and green chiles, and topped them with a fried egg for breakfast. A few weeks ago I made tortilla soup with homemade tortillas. I also make a mean huevos rancheros. Enchiladas, fajitas, guacamole, quesadillas — I make and love them all. And now I am hungry, thank you.

5. What skill do you wish you had?

I wish I had willpower to eat the Michael Pollan way – “Eat food. Mostly plants. Not too much.” I wish I could run a mile in 8 minutes or less (there once was a time, maybe…in my dreams). I wish I could resist the siren call of the snooze button.

But those aren’t exactly skills. I wish I had fabulous artistic skills combined with mad coding skills with a few Adobe skills thrown in there, and I would make a mean web designer. Unfortunately, I am sort of missing all three of those things.

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If you’d like me to interview you, just say so in the comments, but don’t be surprised if I ask you what your favorite baby name is. That’s my favorite game.

For those of you who like CATS more than WORDS (there are a few of you out there, I know it!) I leave you with a rarity in my household: Double-Cat Bed!