love is blonde

For anyone who knows me, it is probably no surprise that I would never, ever vote for Rick Santorum. I wouldn’t vote for anyone who draws parallels between homosexuality and “man on child, man on dog” or who doesn’t “believe” global warming is “real.” The nicest way to put it is to say that we have fundamentally different world views.

But I’m finding myself really angry about something I’ve been hearing about him lately and I feel the need to speak up.

I heard first it at a small social gathering.

“So how about the Republican primary, pretty crazy, right? Can you believe Santorum actually has a chance?”

“Have you heard that thing about his stillborn baby, how he brought it home from the hospital?”

And then, in a blast email I got today, citing the Santorums’ “decision to force their children to kiss, hug, fondle, and sing to the dead baby.”

And I’ve seen tweets like this one: “Just a reminder that Rick Santorum kissed and cuddled a dead baby for hours and he is treated as a somewhat-viable presidential candidate.”

I’m sure my experience having a stillborn baby was different than the Santorums’, for probably a million reasons. But I can tell you that the couple of hours I got to spend with my son Miller — when yes, he was dead — were hours that I cherish so very much. In fact, my biggest, and probably only regret, a regret that sometimes feels like it’s eating a hole through my insides, is that we did not hold him for longer when we had the chance. Because I’ll never get to hold him again.

I wish we had spent the night with him. I wish I had held him until my arms were tired, and then for longer. I wish I told him 100 more times that I loved him and that I was so sorry he did not get a chance to grow up.

I console myself by saying that we made the best decisions we could at the time we were making them. I can’t really explain it any other way. But I’d kill to have those hours back, and I’d do it over differently.

To be critical of another family spending time with their (dead) beloved baby — that is just beyond my scope of acceptable right now. As a liberal, and a Democrat, and a fervently pro-choice person, I don’t think it is okay.

The reason I am pro-choice is because I believe that medical & reproductive decisions ought to be left to women and their doctors. I trust that most women, and most doctors, will make moral and ethical choices for themselves, given the circumstances they are in.

And so I think we ought to grant that same liberty and freedom from judgment to the Santorums, and to other parents of stillborn babies. They should choose how to grieve and cope and make decisions that are right for them and their families during a family tragedy.

If I hadn’t experienced this loss, I would have probably said those statements above, too. And the Santorums’ loss doesn’t really forgive the fact that they made it into a political platform issue. And I’m probably having somewhat of a knee-jerk reaction because my regrets over time spent with Miller are so raw and painful. But even with all those caveats, let’s leave the guy alone on this topic. There are plenty of other things to dislike about him.

Just a few photos for now. I’m still processing and writing up my account of an amazing and adventurous and arduous week…

Unfortunately, the weekend began with an all-nighter at the office.  The sun rose over the Capitol Building during my taxi ride home.

My boss treated the ladies in the office to updos and professional makeup before the inaugural ball. Good idea in theory, but the way it all went down ended up being completely ridiculous. A story for later, definitely.

This was the first time I’d ever seen my husband in a tuxedo, and I thought he looked pretty darn cute. I was wearing hot pink tights under my dress. It was FREEZING outside!

We went to the Biden Home States Ball, held in the ballroom of the Washington Convention Center. My husband is from Delaware and his first political job was working for Joe Biden, so he was especially excited. Jill looked stunning in her red dress.

The highlight of the evening came when the new President and First Lady took the stage to dance. It is so clear from their body language that they absolutely adore and love each other. It’s amazing. Michelle’s dress was fabulous, and I would pay a million dollars to have her toned arms.

There’s so much more to tell, like how we were in the doomed Purple Line and never made it into the swearing in ceremony, despite leaving the house at sunrise to walk to the Capitol and standing in “line” for four hours with hard-to-score tickets. And the crazy work hours my coworkers and I logged in planning and executing two client events per day on top of all of the official inaugural events and hospitality duties. It was a sprint and a marathon all at once, and it took some determination to enjoy the privilege in the face of stress and exhaustion. But, and I can now honestly say this following a rejuvenating five hour nap, it was all worth it to be a small part of history.

I’m going to break my unwritten rule (because, hey! It’s my blog and I can) and talk about politics here today. But don’t worry, this blog will not turn into a political blog. I welcome you to stay around even if you disagree with me about presidential candidates. If you disagree with me about the major hotness of Eric Bana, we might have a problem, but I’ll leave that for another day.

I’ve been a Democrat pretty much since conception. My parents saved their “conservative” values for child-rearing (I wasn’t allowed to go to the mall without a parent escort until I was 16!) and remained liberal in their voting. I believe very much in progressive values: fairness, opportunity, honesty, privacy, freedom, and pragmatism. No, I don’t think that government can or should solve everybody’s problems, but I think our government has a responsibility to work for its people to help us to be happy, healthy, and prosperous.

In 2003, smitten with a guy I would later marry and a presidential candidate who was speaking out about the war in Iraq when it was still quite unpopular to do so, I moved to Vermont and spent nine months on a political campaign. It ended badly (YEEEEAAAHHHHH!), but I never doubted my support for that campaign.

This time around, it took me a long time to decide which candidate would get my vote.

I like John Edwards a lot because of his focus on poverty issues, which are overwhelmingly underreported and unaddressed. I like Hillary Clinton, too. I read her autobiography and came away feeling impressed with her toughness (in a good way) and her commitment to women’s and children’s issues. She’s smart and savvy and her very detailed proposals display her impressive grasp on policy issues. And I don’t fault her for choices she made in her marriage, because it’s private and not really my business.

However, I’m looking for more in a president than great policy positions. I’m unconvinced that Hillary can really move America forward. I don’t want to go back to the polarized 1990s when President Clinton was stymied by Newt Gingrich and the VRWC. I want out of the backwards-moving 2000s under the kingdom of Dubya. It sounds like an Obama-sponsored talking point, but I am really ready for a change. A change in Washington and a change in the whole country. I think Obama is the only one who can deliver it.

(Tidbit to those of you born in 1980 or later: If Hillary is elected, then a Bush or a Clinton will have been either President or VP for your ENTIRE LIVES through at least 2012. Yikes.)

I think Obama has the ability to truly move us onto the right path for the future. He’s not perfect, but he’s bold, honest, real, inspiring, visionary, fresh, and (I hope) transformative. Don’t you think the country is ready for that? More than just ready, we are aching for it. He can bring people together to solve the real problems that we face: ending the war, getting off of oil dependency, and investing in health care and education. He inspires hope in young people and independents, and even some of my die-hard Republican friends would consider voting for him. Would they vote for Hillary? No way. Especially not against John McCain.

For me, it’s a little bit of a gut feeling (I can’t help but feel hopeful deep down when I hear him give a speech) and a little bit pragmatic (I think he has a better shot at beating McCain). In the end, I’ll vote for whoever has a ‘D’ next to their name on the ballot, but I hope that name is Obama. And you better bet I’ll be voting. I hope you all will too.

(If you want to tell me who you support and why, I welcome that. I’d be much happier with 30 commenters who support different candidates for different reasons than 5 commenters who agree with me. Or maybe you have questions and want to know more. Go ahead and ask.)

(And tomorrow, we talk decorating. Because I need some serious, serious help and it’s all related to that horrid yellow couch.)